Monday, August 12, 2013

Pirates vs. Superheroes (and Why I Pick Pirates)

So one day I was looking for something to write about, and one idea that came up was Pirates vs. Superheroes. And for some reason, I immediately picked out the winner.
Yes, I know some of you Marvel and DC fanatics are going to whimper "Whaaaat?" and argue all the way to end of the Internet, but as much as I appreciate the beauty of comics and their movies, pirates are superior.*
1.Pirates aren't perfect.
Superheroes seem to be these perfect beings that do good, help others, and make the right choices, and are generally are awesome. I respect this. But this doesn't really appeal to me because it is something that I will never be, nor anyone else can be, because it doesn't exist. Pirates, on the other hand, realize that they aren't perfect, and accept it and move on with their lives and continue stealing and doing the thing that they do best, being sort of horrible.** And I like that.

2. Pirates aren't beautiful. Nor will they ever be.
When you think of a superhero, you think of muscular, strong, beautiful person who constantly saves the day in their skintight uniforms. Not a person with rotting teeth, questionable hygiene, and is possibly missing a finger, a couple toes, or more often, a whole leg. And again, I like pirates for the self-confidence that they administer while walking around, and if they frighten people, they sort of enjoy it. The only superheroes that I can think of that aren't the example of extreme beauty/handsomeness are The Incredibles, and honestly I loved that movie so much as a kid (and still today), that I saw it three times and theaters and probably 547 times on my TV/DVD player, and have watched all the extras 342 times.
3. Pirates actually existed.
Pirates did at one time sail the seven seas, and still do today. While there are real-life superheroes today, they don't have extreme fame as the ones in the movies, and are usually humble and continue to do good things just for the reason that they are good. The only thing that makes them different from other people is their extreme kindness, decency, and amazingness in tough situations. I guess this is what movies and comics portray, but sorry I'm on the pirates side as I already stated.
4. Loyalty
So since I couldn't think up much on this one for superheroes, I'm just going to go with the side for pirates. While they are pretty awful people, pirates have an extreme loyalty for their captains, and they will almost always follow them to the end of the earth (and in Jack Sparrow's case, his crew actually did). Pirates are also loyal to the ocean, and no matter how much they love to curse her for storms or what have you, they will always return to her, no matter what.
5. Bad Boys of the Ocean
Who doesn't love a bad boy? Maybe that's why I actually just picked pirates. Hmmm...
Well, that's all I have for today. Who do you think is better? Let me know in the comments!
Eye. Harvey K. Littleton. I actually saw this piece at its museum!
*I am not a pirate expert by any means.
**However, I don't respect pirates for the whole raping/pillaging act they put on.

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