Tuesday, May 28, 2013

22 Hours of Suffering (on a sailboat)

Hey everybody.
So I know my last post was sort of a story, so I decided to tell another one in this post.
Except it's sort of sad. More like pathetic.
But it'll all be okay because, hey, things work out.
So my tale begins.....
The Story of How I REALLY Had to Pee but I Held it for 22 Hours (on a sailboat)
Once upon a time, I was on a sailboat. I was learning how to sail, and it was really fun, with it not being a crazy windy day, or one without wind.

The sun was shining, there was an abundance of Fudge Crème Oreos, and everyone was talking and joking.
This was what I remember before having to pee.
But I played cool, because like any girl worth her salt, I can hold it. So I did.

Once we got to land, we had to hike a bit to get to the place where we were going to camp outside. It was pretty cool, with everybody squished together for warmth (and lack of space), and we had burgers (a veggie burger in my case), and everybody was happy.
Except I had to pee.
There weren't any bathrooms, so you were left with a shovel and told to go find a spot far away. But I can't make myself pee in the woods. It's something I just can't do, and I'm not squeamish or afraid of spiders, snakes, or the outdoors or anything.
So I held it until morning.

And I still had to pee.
 So we had breakfast milk cartons (which were covered by slugs that had mysteriously appeared with the dew), and  we hiked back down to our boats, wading into the water to set them off.

But I didn't because 1) Peeing in a lake is illegal (this is basically the underlying PSA I am leaving you with) and 2) I couldn't make myself do it. So I waited.
I ended up waiting six more hours because the wind wouldn't pick up.

I later learned that you can die (some lady actually has in a contest) if you hold it too long.
So moral of the story:
Don't hold your pee. Ever. Find a bathroom and it'll be all good.
I'm glad to share my experience. Okay, quote of the day!

"I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens."
- Woody Allen
Yeah, that is going to be a pain, isn't it?
So live life to your utmost ability, eat Nutella, and always, I MEAN ALWAYS, lick the spoon afterwards.
Or the knife.

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