Thursday, May 2, 2013

Shorts

Hey y'all. I have an important topic for today. Yes, this girl has a topic for once and isn't going to go off on some random tangent. Let the celebration begin.
(www.portabletv.com)
 
Muhahaha Great Gatsby! IT  BE COMIN' OUT IN EIGHT MORE DAYS! I'm planning on going with some friends, checking out Red Robin, maybe strolling over to TJMAXX......
Anyway, back to my very important topic.
You see, Rebecca (haha still going strong with DDG), once the sun starts peeking out and spring has sprung, and you see all the cute little bunnies and birdies and snakes wandering around, and the grass gets greener and the leaves begin to reappear on the the trees, you stretch out your legs and go, "Hmmmm, I might be needing me some shorts."
And then catastrophe strikes.
I'm not embarrassed about my legs or any part of my body (but feet are weird, just sayin'), so don't go thinking that's what I'm writing about. I own plenty of shorts from my two pairs of denim, to my bright yellow cutoffs, to my orange and blue tribal patterned ones, to my white flowered ones with suspenders.
But what shall I wear to school?
THERE AREN'T SHORTS THAT ARE LONG ENOUGH!
My school has the finger-tip length rule, which can be a problem when you are pretty tallish (not 6 feet but on the way there) and your long fingers and legs make it basically impossible to pass the test without looking like you got stabbed in the back and you're trying to hide the wound from everyone by putting your shoulders up to your ears and saying "Hey, you want to go get some Fro-Yo?"
Awkward picture doesn't really do what I'm trying to say justice, but what the hey. You get the picture.
So what's a girl to do? Options:
1. BUY ROMPERS! Sadly they are too short most of the time too. I got called out on the one I wore today, but I didn't have to change since it was the end of the day and the secretary is awesome and thought it was adorable.
2.WEAR DRESSES! A good option, but I don't own that many and also some day you just want to wear something with legs. EXCEPT YOU FEEL SO FREE. The one day I wore a dress I skipped around and told everyone how free I felt. I got laughs or weird creeper stares, the kind you get and then the parent pulls their child away. Except it was at school.
3.WEAR SKIRTS! Same deal as dresses.
4. WEAR PANTS! Oh, I'm sorry to disappoint you, dear, but some places in my school are HUNDREDS OF DEGREES SOMETIMES. Also I want my legs to be free.
5. LEGGINGS? Only if they have swans or sharks or another freaking awesome pattern on them. Otherwise, no ma'am.
So I'm out of options. No where sells shorts I can wear to school that are long enough.
I could make my own, or get something from a thrift shop (TWENTY DOLLARS IN MY POCKET) and alter it, but I really don't have the time to do that right now.
Oh well, I'll figure something out.
So that's my rant.
What will I do now? I want a iced cappuccino and some lace, but that's not going to happen, is it?
Poem time? I was sort of angsty yesterday, wasn't I? Back to haiku.
I need to shave now,
Caterpillars all over,
Up and down my legs.
Hmm, weird. Gonna go soak up some sun.

 

                                                                                                          (www.anongallery.org)
But outside.

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